Getting It Back...

Distracted, I’ve been distracted. Emotional, too. Life feels short, the turn-over of time happening at a quickened pace. Seasons passing within hours. Hours fading away like minutes. Minutes evanescing before they even begin. Books are started with enthusiasm, then sit only a quarter-of-the-way read. Five quarter-read books in a stack, mocking me. Paintings begun, and maybe even finished, but no series forming, no consistency of work. Stops and starts, and stops again. Yoga classes, unattended, despite my desire. This is not the norm for me. I’m a completionist. I finish things I start. I don’t think it’s just one thing causing this level of un-focus. It’s nuances and layers of things, but what matters most is... getting it back.

Getting back to focusing on the things I love has been a much slower process than I expected. Activities that make me, me and fulfill my life need to become my norm again. I’m working at reading more (again), painting as a regular part of my life (like it once was), singing, writing, and generally taking time to myself. I’m turning off my phone for periods of time to feel a sense of normalcy again. I’m doing a little gardening to connect myself back with nature. Live music is my favorite past time, and brings me so much joy and probably is my most consistent version of self-care. I’m always making sure that listening to live music is in my life, but really, quiet times are what I need right now. Quiet, disconnected, unplugged times are what I need to fully get it back. I’ve struggled to understand why I’ve let so many things that are important to my happiness, slip away, not entirely, but just enough to miss them. I forgive myself. This is a wacky world, full of things meant to distract. All I can do is acknowledge this is happening and work towards getting it back.

Happy Living!

XO,

Michelle